Fixing Our Mistake
by twistedcommunication
Summary: Complete.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I decided that they should have a happy ending. This follows on from my fic Second Chance At Being Fixed. It probably won't be very long, maybe just one or two more chapters. Depends on whether you like it.

Part 1: Marissa

It's been four months, three weeks, two days, and 19 hours since the last time I saw her, and I'm still thinking about her. Everyday I wake up having had the same dream. The one where she comes back, and tells me that everything is going to be okay, that she'll never leave again.

But that's all it is, a dream. I'm just chasing shadows, I'm trying to fit the remnants of a broken relationship back together, and I can't do it alone. I need her here with me. It's funny to think of us as a broken relationship, because, in my head we're still together.

I wish she would think the same, I wish that she'd try and put out relationship back together, but she hasn't called, not even once, and she certainly hasn't come back. Sometimes I wonder if there is some outside force, taunting me with thoughts of her, only to cruelly tear them away.

When she was here I didn't need to drink, because she replaced my addiction. The only thing I needed was her, and I didn't let her stay. I forced her into running away, and I hate myself for doing that. I just want her back, even though I know I don't deserve her.

Marissa slammed the diary shut, the thoughts swirling around her head becoming too much. She threw the book across the room, where it hit the wall with a dull thud. Marissa imagined that the thudding sound was the way her heart beat now, with a dull sound instead of the lively beat that it should have. That she had had while she was with Alex.

Leaving it to Alex to come back hadn't been successful, so perhaps it was up to Marissa to do something about it. She hadn't wanted to call Alex, she hadn't wanted to put any pressure on her, or make her feel like she had to come back. Marissa had wanted her to return of her own accord, but it didn't happen.

This left Marissa thinking that the only way to convince Alex that she should be here would be to go and see her. The truth was, though, she was terrified that Alex had moved on. Alex had never seemed like the kind of girl to wait around thinking about the past. She had always considered the future to be more important. Marissa didn't think she'd be able to deal with it if Alex had found someone else. Someone to replace her.

The thought of being replaced was the only thing that was holding her back at the moment. She knew that many people wanted Alex, and Alex had been gone for a long time now. There wasn't a very big chance that she hadn't found someone else.

Ryan had wanted her back, and she'd turned him down. Although she hadn't told him it was because of Alex, it was clear from the way her expression would become melancholy every time she heard Alex's name mentioned that she was missing her more than she was letting her friends know.

Sometimes, she'd go out and get drunk, and in the morning she'd wake up beside girls that reminded her of Alex. None of them were ever enough though. To Marissa, it was unexpected. She didn't think she could look at another girl the same way as Alex. But then she realised that all she was doing was searching for Alex's features in those of other girls.

She was using these people to comfort her, only they were no comfort at all. Because they weren't Alex, and she hated waking up beside them. She'd only wish that it was five months ago, and that she was still happy with Alex. She was determined that I would never happen again. She was going to find Alex, and if Alex didn't want her anymore, it would beyond hurt her, but at least she'd know she'd tried. She had to try to fix her mistakes.

Alex:

Alex had moved even further away, in the hope of distancing herself from Marissa, so that she would stop thinking about her. But the true distance increasing didn't lessen her thoughts of Marissa. In fact, she was thinking about her more than ever. She wondered how long it had taken for Marissa to go back to Ryan.

She clenched her fists at the thought of him. He would always make her feel angry, she thought, especially when he was associated with Marissa. Maybe if it hadn't been for him interfering, they'd still be together now.

No. They wouldn't. Alex had to convince herself that they hadn't been right together; otherwise, she was left regretting her decision to move away even more. She had almost turned around at the bonfire, almost run back to Marissa to scream at her that they could make it work.

She still wanted her second chance, even though her hopes of getting it were rapidly disappearing. She wanted Marissa to find her. She wanted her to ask for Alex to come back to Newport, to be with Marissa again. Alex wanted all the things she could never have.

Then she wondered what would happen if she went back. Marissa didn't have to come to her, she could go to Marissa. The thought of seeing Marissa happy with Ryan made her stomach churn, though, and she wasn't sure she could stand it.

All she had to do was to show Marissa that they had made a mistake before, and that they should have stayed together. She should just go back to Newport. She couldn't do anything but try. If Marissa had truly moved on, Alex thought her heart would break all over again. But what if she hadn't? Alex couldn't take the chance. She wasn't going to settle this time.

She was going to go back to Newport, and she was going to finally say all of the things that she had wanted to say to Marissa.

Hearing a buzzing sound, she searched for her phone, wondering who'd be calling her at this time of night. She eventually found the phone under a cushion, and picked it up, her finger poised over the button to answer it. She was too late though, and the phone buzzed again, showing that she had a new voicemail message.

She went to the voicemail, listening to the new message.

" Hi Alex. I know it's been a long time, but I wanted to talk to you. I…umm…I don't really know what to say. I just want you to know that I miss you, and I understand if you don't want to talk to me, but I was kinda hoping…. Anyway, call me if you want?"

Alex listened to the message again. Marissa missed her? This message just made her even surer that she should go back to Newport. They could try and fix the mistakes they'd made at last.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex:

Alex was driving, all of her belongings thrown hurriedly into the back of her car. She could hardly believe she was doing this. One message from Marissa and here she was, dropping everything for the girl. She'd always known that she would, though. She couldn't stop herself.

She'd been thinking about what to say ever since she'd heard Marissa's voice last night, but she was still no closer to knowing what her words should be. How should she act? Should she go to Marissa, or should she wait? The thoughts were making her head hurt. She didn't realise how nervous she would be about going back, and she still wasn't sure that she was doing the right thing.

She should have called. She should have called before taking this step. When it came to Marissa, though, she'd never really done the rational thing; she just didn't have that kind of control over her feelings. As her destination became closer, she became increasingly worried about what would happen.

Ryan. What about Ryan? Alex remembered their reason for breaking up, the thought getting under her skin, prickling. What the hell was she thinking? It made her want to turn around and go back. Back to that grey town filled with grey people. How was she supposed to do this? Telling herself to get over her fears, she continued to drive.

Marissa had made the first move. That had to mean something, right? Letting her hopes build up for a second, she thought about the possibility that Marissa hadn't got back together with Ryan. She was doing the right thing here. They both missed each other. At least, this way, they'd be near each other, even if they couldn't get back together right away.

Alex would be disappointed if they were only friends, because, as much as she had enjoyed her friendship with Marissa, she had always wanted something more. It wouldn't be any different this time around, she knew that. But she also knew that any kind of friendship they had would be leading up to something else. There was something undeniable between them, and it would have to manifest itself eventually.

Daylight was rapidly disappearing, as the time seemed to pass by so quickly. Alex had left Newport in the dark, and now she was going to return to it in the dark. She hoped that wasn't a bad sign. When she got there the first thing she'd have to do would be to find a place to live. She really hadn't thought this through. Hopefully her old place would still be available. She'd liked it there, even if she was sometimes a little saddened by the memories that came attached to it.

She and Marissa had been happy there, though, for the most part. Even though those feelings had been gone for a while, they were heading for a new start. Alex would need something familiar and comforting. In some ways, when she went back, she wanted it to be like she had never left. That way she could pretend her heart hadn't been broken and then it wouldn't need fixing. She could pretend that Marissa hadn't let her go.

Now she was passing the sign that said "Welcome to Newport", and feeling like this whole experience was slightly surreal.

Marissa:

Marissa was feeling anxious. She didn't like being away from her room. She didn't want to go back there and find that she had missed Alex's call. What if she didn't call though? The thought was constantly at the back of Marissa's head. She didn't know what she'd do if Alex didn't call her back.

The bell finally rang to signal the end of the last lesson of the day, and Marissa had never been so relieved to hear a bell ring in her life. She got up quickly, practically running for her car, dismissing Ryan as he tried to talk to her.

When she got home, she immediately went to her bedroom, throwing her bag on the floor and sitting on the bed. She stared at the phone, wondering why it wouldn't ring when she wanted it to. Considering there had been no contact between them during all the time they'd been apart, Alex must have been surprised. Marissa half wished that she had talked to Alex instead of leaving a message, but she knew if she had heard Alex's voice, she wouldn't have been able to say a word. Maybe it was better this way, but it also meant that Marissa didn't have any idea of Alex's reaction to her call.

Maybe she just hadn't listened to the message yet, Marissa rationalised. Alex had always been busy here; it would probably be the same somewhere else, wherever she was now. What if she was busy with someone else rather than something else? The thought made Marissa shudder. She'd made her decision, though, and now it was up to Alex to do something about it. If Alex didn't do anything about it, Marissa couldn't imagine how she'd feel. It had hurt enough the first time around; she didn't think she could survive through more of those feelings.

The phone rang, and Marissa jumped. Despite the fact that she had been waiting for it to ring, she was startled by the sound. She laughed a little at herself, before tensely reaching over to pick up the phone. She was disappointed when, instead of the voice she so desperately wanted to hear, it was Summer's voice on the other end of the phone. Summer obviously picked up on this disappointment, even if she couldn't read it as disappointment, because she asked Marissa why she "sounded funny". Marissa didn't tell her, excusing herself from the conversation by telling Summer that she had a headache and that she wanted to get some sleep.

Replacing the phone in its cradle, she lay down so that her eyes were on the ceiling. As more time passed, she was becoming increasingly frustrated. She couldn't stand how helpless Alex made her feel when she wasn't here. All she could think about was Alex and what Alex was doing. Her thoughts weren't helping, twisting her thoughts so that she kept imagining that Alex had moved on, and that she'd never want to talk to Marissa again. Why wasn't she calling?


	3. Chapter 3

Alex:

Alex felt light headed as she passed the sign. She was back in Newport. She was closer to Marissa than she had been since the night they broke up, but she still felt like she was so far away from her. She still didn't know what she was going to say, and she found herself wishing she'd thought this plan through more carefully. What if the words came out wrong, or not at all? She couldn't just stand there looking like an idiot.

She'd got her old place back. The landlord wasn't too pleased about being woken up at this hour, but it meant money for him. No one had lived there since, which Alex thought was a little strange, but she wasn't complaining. She walked up the steps, fumbling with the keys in the dark. Walking inside, she was surprised by how bare the place looked. She hadn't really paid attention to it when she had left; she'd been too upset to even think about anything other than Marissa.

She brought her stuff inside, setting in down hurriedly. She couldn't waste any more time, she'd been putting off visiting Marissa for long enough. Maybe she should call her first, she thought, but at the same time there was a part of her that wanted to surprise Marissa. She couldn't help wondering, though, if Marissa would want to see her. She might have just wanted to talk to her, and Alex wasn't sure of what to do. This girl had always made her unsure of herself, uncertain about which actions to take.

Her breathing was shallow, her nervousness having become intense as she thought more about the possible outcomes of what she was about to do. Gritting her teeth together, trying to ignore the clenching feeling in her stomach, she walked back outside. She left her car where it was, walking would give her more time to think about what to say. The streets were dark, and Alex finally felt like she didn't need that darkness to comfort her. She was finally trying to fix everything that had gone wrong. She was a little more optimistic now, reminding herself of Marissa's words to her. They made her feel better.

Marissa:

Marissa felt like she was drowning, her thoughts suffocating her. She thought about how dramatic that sounded, and laughed at herself a little. Her expression quickly dropped, though, as she remembered why she'd been having those thoughts in the first place. Alex. She'd still heard nothing from her, and she was beginning to lose hope that she ever would. She couldn't believe she was still holding on to this, to them, after this time. The time they'd spent apart, though, had only served to make her realise that she never wanted them to be apart ever again.

She couldn't have what she wanted without Alex's consent though, and she wasn't sure she would get it. Not after she let Alex walk away like that. She didn't deserve her back. She knew that if she were to speak to someone about this, they'd tell her she should move on, that there would be other people, that maybe it wasn't meant to be. She knew they'd be wasting their time though, because she would never move on from this girl. She knew, she'd tried, and she'd failed. She was still thinking about her now, still desperately clinging to the hope that she'd be able to at least talk to her. Maybe she should call again. She already felt as if she had been rejected, though, and this put her off trying again to reach Alex.

Marissa was startled from her thoughts by a knock on the door. She got up to answer it, wondering who the hell would be knocking on her door at this time of night. She opened the door, to find Alex stood on her doorstep, looking at the floor. All the thoughts she'd been having about what to say had escaped her completely the second she set eyes on Marissa. She looked up at her shyly, and the only reaction Marissa had was to pull her into her arms.

The contact between them made Marissa break down. She'd been bottling her emotion up for too long, and now it just came pouring out. Alex pulled back from her, lifting a hand to gently wipe the tears from Marissa's cheeks. Marissa bit her lip, trying to get her feelings back under control so that she could say everything that she wanted to say. She breathed in deeply.

"I missed you," she said.

"I know the feeling," replied Alex, laughing softly. "I got your message, and I had to see you."

Marissa wrapped her arms around Alex tightly, and whispered in her ear. "I'm glad you came back."

" Really?" asked Alex, biting her lip nervously.

Marissa nodded, sure of herself for the first time since Alex had left.

"I should have made you stay," she said, looking down at the floor. "I never meant to hurt you, Alex."

"That doesn't matter now," said Alex softly.

Marissa looked up, into Alex's eyes.

"Yes, it does," she said. "I was wrong to do that. I just got scared."

"I know."

"And when I tried to talk to you, everything came out wrong. Then you said you were leaving, and I've never been so terrified in my life, but I still couldn't stop you."

"All you had to do was ask, and I wouldn't have gone anywhere."

"I know that now. And I'm so sorry I couldn't see it before."

Alex looked at her, holding the gaze for a long time.

"It really doesn't matter now."

"Are you staying?" asked Marissa, scared to hear the answer. What if she was just visiting?

"I couldn't leave, even if I wanted to," said Alex, smiling at Marissa to let her know that she was the reason that she couldn't leave.

Marissa buried her face in Alex's shoulder, the happiest she'd been in a long time. She said something that Alex couldn't hear, and realising that it was muffled by her position, moved back to look at her. Alex looked at her curiously, as she didn't repeat it, but stood there, looking at Alex for a long time. Marissa took a deep breath, she was finally going to say what she had wanted to say, and nothing would stop her now.

"Alex, I love you," she said, looking deeply into her eyes, and then pulling her gaze away as she finished her words, terrified that she would be rejected now. Alex placed a hand under her chin, tilting her head up so she was looking into her eyes once more. She smiled at her, her happiness apparent in every line of her face.

"I love you too," she said, glad that Marissa had said it first, because she didn't know if she would have been able to. It was Marissa's turn to smile, as Alex's words sank in. She took Alex face between her hands, and said,

"I promise I'll never hurt you again." She meant it, and this time, Alex truly believed what she was hearing.

Marissa moved her hands from Alex' face to place them back around her, tracing patterns across her back. "Can I kiss you?" she whispered, leaning close to Alex.

"You didn't even have to ask," said Alex, before letting their lips meet softly. Marissa pulled Alex closer, until it was hard to tell where one needed and the other began, and they both finally felt like their mistakes were being fixed.


End file.
